The Next Step
I wonder what it means to truly be a Christian in this world. Does it mean we read our Bibles everyday and attend church twice on Sunday, all the while doing nothing to ease the decay of the world around us into total depravity (pardon the pun)? Does it mean we do all we can to make diciples of all nations, often at the cost of sound Biblical truths? After all, what's the point of being a Christian that doesn't really have the truth of Christ? Is that really a Christian?
I sit in my chair, staring at this computer screen until my eyes hurt trying to make my blog something more pleasing to God, something in service of His Kingdom...or something like that. But all the while I'm left wondering what it is I'm really supposed to do in this world, and with my life. I have certain ambitions, but not the means to carry them out. And not ambitions in the sense that I want fame or power for myself, but ambitions for God. That in itself is a comforting thought, that I have them at all, but I have no clue what to do with them. How does one become an Apologician (or is it apologist, haha) in the sense that he makes it an actual vocation? Aside from a minister or teacher (which are options I haven't ruled out by any means), how does a man make a day job out of serving and defending the Kingdom?
I actually have more of a sense of hope about the future in my own heart, perhaps than this blog entry lets on, but it is when others constantly doubt my future that I become somewhat disheartened. I understand that making money is important and necessary in the world we live in, but it has only ever been in the back of my mind. I have no desire to be rich someday, only that I have enough to provide for a family. If I could make money writing on a blog I'd be set! Some have asked why I want to go to an expensive Christian college when I could get a cheaper education at a state school and be in far less debt after I graduate. The obvious answer is that I can't study subjects like philosophy and theology at a secular school. The less obvious answer (though it is more important for me) is that I feel called to go to a Christian school, to recieve an education in the things that really matter, and not just in the skills of a particular vocation. I can't say for certain that when I graduate I will get this job or that job, and my ambitions apart from a specific job are difficult to articulate to others. All I can say now is that I will go where I believe I am lead to go and pray that God will show me the next step of the journey once I get there.
I sit in my chair, staring at this computer screen until my eyes hurt trying to make my blog something more pleasing to God, something in service of His Kingdom...or something like that. But all the while I'm left wondering what it is I'm really supposed to do in this world, and with my life. I have certain ambitions, but not the means to carry them out. And not ambitions in the sense that I want fame or power for myself, but ambitions for God. That in itself is a comforting thought, that I have them at all, but I have no clue what to do with them. How does one become an Apologician (or is it apologist, haha) in the sense that he makes it an actual vocation? Aside from a minister or teacher (which are options I haven't ruled out by any means), how does a man make a day job out of serving and defending the Kingdom?
I actually have more of a sense of hope about the future in my own heart, perhaps than this blog entry lets on, but it is when others constantly doubt my future that I become somewhat disheartened. I understand that making money is important and necessary in the world we live in, but it has only ever been in the back of my mind. I have no desire to be rich someday, only that I have enough to provide for a family. If I could make money writing on a blog I'd be set! Some have asked why I want to go to an expensive Christian college when I could get a cheaper education at a state school and be in far less debt after I graduate. The obvious answer is that I can't study subjects like philosophy and theology at a secular school. The less obvious answer (though it is more important for me) is that I feel called to go to a Christian school, to recieve an education in the things that really matter, and not just in the skills of a particular vocation. I can't say for certain that when I graduate I will get this job or that job, and my ambitions apart from a specific job are difficult to articulate to others. All I can say now is that I will go where I believe I am lead to go and pray that God will show me the next step of the journey once I get there.
posted by David at
12:32 AM
3 Comments:
I am so proud of you! And I never want to make you feel disheartened about your choices or the path you are following. In fact you have a better perspective than I do it seems. You are trying to follow wherever God seems to be leading, and you are following where you feel you are being lead. I fear too much I know, for your future, in the material sense, knowing how hard life can be. But you are looking to make your life pleasing to God, keeping options open, so I know he will lead you in the life he already has planned for you. So I don't really need to worry, you are in the best hands I could ever want for you. I support you all the way and will do whatever I can to help you achieve these goals. And I am proud of you not bending to pressure or others opinions about what you should do. Always lead your life and make your decisions for God and he will always be there for you.
God Bless you my dear son.
By
Anonymous, at February 01, 2006 11:53 AM
Holy Cow Dave, your blog is totally different! Nice work...I like what I could read so far, but I accidentally slept through Logic this morning and I have a ton of Latin to do in an hour...:S
By
Donald, at February 03, 2006 9:06 AM
I like the new format. Very Calvinist-chic.
A few nights ago it was my turn to lead a Bible study, and we spent two hours wrestling through these issues. I chose as the passage Isaiah 58, which talks about Israel's belief that simply by going through the "holy motions," they could please God. God, however, says that He is much more pleased by a people who stop putting on the facade and instead go out and bring justice and peace to the rest of the world.
This corresponds with a very recent push I've felt to become involved somehow in missions. A friend recently asked me to seriously consider joining the Peace Corps, but I was thinking maybe more along the lines of the Navigators. However, right now I'm a college student, spending $20K a year to learn about God's world. What does it look like for me to be a Christian now, as I struggle to keep awake in class and scratch out essay after essay after essay? And if I don't go into missions, what does it look like for me to be a Christian as a high school teacher, somewhere in middle America, trying to convince 16-year-olds that mitosis is worth learning?
With the Bible study, there were as many mysteries left as there were answers, but we came to decide that the thrust of Isaiah 58 is that whatever form our faith takes, it is rendered pleasing to God when we are not the focus. It seems almost ridiculous to say, but worship is about God and what He is and does, not what we do. The specifics of what this looks like are hard to figure, often, like configuring a blog as a Christian, as you mentioned. It's a heavy topic, but it's what we're called to consider and live out for our entire lives.
By
honeyhair, at February 10, 2006 4:44 PM
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