The Peace Maker
My single adults group has started a 12-week study (so basically through the whole summer) on what it means to be a peace maker. We're reading through the book The Peace Maker by Ken Mande. So far it looks like it's going to be a lot more interesting and practical than I had first thought.
The two main responses to conflict that tend to come naturally to people are escape and attack. We either want to run away from conflict and hope it goes away or we take on conflict head-on, sometimes violently. The most extreme form of escape is suicide, while the most extreme form of attack is murder. While not many of us have had to serisouly deal with these two extremes, we're all too familiar with their lesser degrees (whether it be ignoring a problem or gossipping behind someone's back). Not many people really make an effort to reconcile their differences and restore their relationships with people. Why? Because it usually involves admitting some blame on your part. Everyone likes to be the victim, they want the other party to be wholly responsible for whatever the problem might be. Once you've rationalized this thinking you feel you are justly entitled to some form of retribution. This is what happens in the courtroom. It isn't about some noble crusade for justice, as all the courtroom dramas on TV would have you believe (although it can sometimes be about that), it's about both sides doing whatever it takes to get what they think they deserve. This is obvious in civil disputes, but even in criminal cases it can become painfully obvious that no one cares about justice so much as they care about winning.
Jesus said we have to remove the log in our own eye before we can start pointing out the tiny speck in our neighbor's eye. It's easy to see when other people are wrong, but it's extremely dificult for most people to realize their own faults. One important thing we need to note about this statement, however, is that Jesus isn't saying "don't ever point out your neighbor's sin." He isn't justifying anyone who has ever uttered the words "Don't judge me!" What he's saying is that we need to be more concerned with our own sins than with constantly bringing up other people's, as was common among the self-righteous Pharisees in Jesus' day. It sounds simple enough, but when was the last time you were in a heated conflict with another person and you actually stood back and thought long and hard about what YOU had done wrong in that situation and what YOU had done to cause the conflict in the first place?? It doesn't matter if the other person is partially or even mostly to blame, the first thing you need to focus on is your own portion of the blame. I think most people would find it very difficult to keep up a stubborn, hateful attitude in an argument after the other person involved has just admitted that they are to blame. When both sides can genuinly admit fault instead of stubbornly clinging to righteous innocence, the path to true reconciliation is pretty much laid out in front of them.
As I glean more pearls of wisdom from our studies I'll post them for everyone to read and think about. The key principle of all this is that we should view conflict as an opportunity. An opportunity to do what? To glorify God. Christians are supposed to be a constant witness of what God can do in people's lives (if it was all about the promise of going to Heaven when you die and nothing more than we wouldn't have much to go on). I don't think a single day goes by without some kind of conflict comming up. If it doesn't involve you than it may involve people close to you. Our natural inclination as selfish human beings is to claim innocence and demand retribution. A Christian is supposed to stand in stark contrast to this attitude, work to serve the needs of others first and attain reconciliation rather than selfish retribution. Then hopefully people can see that you weren't able to accomplish all that on your own, you must have had a hand from on high.
Now it's time for bed. I hope the rest of the study is as interesting as the first chapter. I'm especially looking forward to getting into more practicle problem solving skills.
The two main responses to conflict that tend to come naturally to people are escape and attack. We either want to run away from conflict and hope it goes away or we take on conflict head-on, sometimes violently. The most extreme form of escape is suicide, while the most extreme form of attack is murder. While not many of us have had to serisouly deal with these two extremes, we're all too familiar with their lesser degrees (whether it be ignoring a problem or gossipping behind someone's back). Not many people really make an effort to reconcile their differences and restore their relationships with people. Why? Because it usually involves admitting some blame on your part. Everyone likes to be the victim, they want the other party to be wholly responsible for whatever the problem might be. Once you've rationalized this thinking you feel you are justly entitled to some form of retribution. This is what happens in the courtroom. It isn't about some noble crusade for justice, as all the courtroom dramas on TV would have you believe (although it can sometimes be about that), it's about both sides doing whatever it takes to get what they think they deserve. This is obvious in civil disputes, but even in criminal cases it can become painfully obvious that no one cares about justice so much as they care about winning.
Jesus said we have to remove the log in our own eye before we can start pointing out the tiny speck in our neighbor's eye. It's easy to see when other people are wrong, but it's extremely dificult for most people to realize their own faults. One important thing we need to note about this statement, however, is that Jesus isn't saying "don't ever point out your neighbor's sin." He isn't justifying anyone who has ever uttered the words "Don't judge me!" What he's saying is that we need to be more concerned with our own sins than with constantly bringing up other people's, as was common among the self-righteous Pharisees in Jesus' day. It sounds simple enough, but when was the last time you were in a heated conflict with another person and you actually stood back and thought long and hard about what YOU had done wrong in that situation and what YOU had done to cause the conflict in the first place?? It doesn't matter if the other person is partially or even mostly to blame, the first thing you need to focus on is your own portion of the blame. I think most people would find it very difficult to keep up a stubborn, hateful attitude in an argument after the other person involved has just admitted that they are to blame. When both sides can genuinly admit fault instead of stubbornly clinging to righteous innocence, the path to true reconciliation is pretty much laid out in front of them.
As I glean more pearls of wisdom from our studies I'll post them for everyone to read and think about. The key principle of all this is that we should view conflict as an opportunity. An opportunity to do what? To glorify God. Christians are supposed to be a constant witness of what God can do in people's lives (if it was all about the promise of going to Heaven when you die and nothing more than we wouldn't have much to go on). I don't think a single day goes by without some kind of conflict comming up. If it doesn't involve you than it may involve people close to you. Our natural inclination as selfish human beings is to claim innocence and demand retribution. A Christian is supposed to stand in stark contrast to this attitude, work to serve the needs of others first and attain reconciliation rather than selfish retribution. Then hopefully people can see that you weren't able to accomplish all that on your own, you must have had a hand from on high.
Now it's time for bed. I hope the rest of the study is as interesting as the first chapter. I'm especially looking forward to getting into more practicle problem solving skills.
posted by David at
2:15 AM
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