Season's Greetings

To all my Democrat friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

To all my Republican friends:

I wish you all a very MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Humanist, The Liberal and The Closet

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe has made quite an imprression on critics and audiences alike. Naturally, the evangellical community has been out in force, going so far as to call this movie The Passion for kids. And just as predictably, most of the secular media has been trying to shrug off the story's many Christian themes, perhaps hoping they'll simply go away. Unlike Harry Potter, the Narnia books are inescapably Christian allegories, so the secular entertainment world is forced to deal with that. Usually, however, they do so by making a short and simple reference to it, at or near the very beginning of the review, and then quickly they move on to the marvellous acting and grand visual effects, hoping that the reader will have forgotten all about the Christian aspect of the movie by the end of the review. Sadly, this is simply to be expected from the secularists that govern what we should know about pop culture.

That being said, leave it to the Los Angeles Times to go a step further. Their review of Narnia doesn't look much different from all the others; they mention that the movie has some similarities to Tolkien's trliogy, but that it is aimed at a younger audience. They praise the acting of the young stars of the film and the impressive visual effects, and ultimately give the movie a good rating. However, there is one major difference that I immediately noticed between this review and others that I have read. Cleverly and nonchalantly placed somewhere near the beggining of the review is the writer's interpretation of the supposedly "Christian" themes within the movie:

...the Christian allegory embedded at its chewy center serves less as evangelical cudgel than a primer on morality and the myths we create to explain it. The magical land of Narnia is a place where Western myths and religions (classical, Christian, Celtic, Norse, you name it) are jumbled together so that we may consider their similarities and uses. If it weren't for Lewis' stated intention to write a fantastical story to make the dogma go down, it might even come across as a liberal humanist parable about myth and its function in society, especially during times of trouble.

There you have it. If Lewis hadn't gone and told everyone about the Christian allegory, we could be inventing all sorts of other themes right now. Only the LA Times (and probably the NY Times, come to think of it) could take a story that is overtly Christian in nature and claim it to be a "liberal humanist parable" that serves only to reduce Christianity to mere myth. But wait, there's more! Here's the author's witty and compelling conclusion:

As the children gain ground against the witch, Narnia begins to thaw, and a pre-Coca-Cola St. Nick returns to hand out gifts — a sword for Peter, a bow and arrow for Susan, a dagger for Lucy. The story climaxes with a scary battle scene. No wonder that some might take it as religious instruction: It's a medieval vision of Christianity for another dark age, with the Christ figure as soldier and war as the way to make the world safe for Santa Claus. As a Christian primer, it's terrible. As a story, it's timeless.

Ok, the crack about the coca-cola Santa Claus was funny. The author's obvious disdain for Christianity quickly takes the laughter out of me. Did you also notice how she weaves her criticism of the Iraq War into the article? It's a movie review, for goodnees' sake! But yes, I guess the author is right, Christians think that violence and death are the only means to make the world safe, and our blindly Christian President is executing that belief with conviction. These people don't need a wardrobe, they're already living in a fantasy world.

A little holliday cheer

This made me smile. I hope it brings a smile to your faces as well. :)

(The Democratic Club at Palomar recently split into two clubs, this is an opinion piece regarding the great schism)

"Asses at Odds

From a conservative's point of view, three words come to mind upon hearing about the split of the Democratic club on the Palomar College campus: Burn, baby, burn.

It isn't nice, but it's hard not to gloat about this. Even with all the problems that Republicans have had during the last couple years, they still manage to win elections, mainly because the party is united.

Democrats, on the other hand, are still trying to figure out where they stand on many issues, and the infighting has caused the party to appear divided. This division has apparently trickled down to this college campus.

According to Cody Campbell of the Palomar College Democrats - not to be confused with the Palomar College Democratic Club - the split was due to "personality conflicts." In more correct, less congenial terms, a few bloated heads could not fit in the same room.

If the Democrats in these clubs really wanted win over the hearts and minds of other students, they would get over themselves and realize that the principles their party represents - whatever they are - are bigger than who they are.

Luckily for Republicans like me, these sad people would rather satisfy their own egos and let the state of their party go down in flames, instead of sucking up their pride and doing what's right for their cause.

Words really cannot describe how beautiful this is for Republicans. Many students will probably be confused by the fact that there are two clubs, and just stay away from both by default.

As plenty of political experts will say, voter turnout is everything. The less Democrats involved, the better it is for Republicans.

The best part of all this is that the GOP had absolutely nothing to with this extremely fortunate situation. This is a completely self-inflicted wound by the Democrats - one that will cause them to bleed to death if they don't bandage it up soon.

An argument can be made that Republicans also have disagreements within their own party. This may be true, but we don't see leaders of the Republican party threatening to start their own party elsewhere because of some disagreement on policy - let alone "personality conflicts."

Even at the national level, Democrats are often split. The current chair of the Democratic National Committee, former Presidential candidate and professional crazy person Howard Dean has made several reprehensible statements about Republicans since becoming the head of his party. Although Dean sticks to what he says, many ranking members of his party publicly distance themselves from Dean's comments.

Republicans don't have a problem child like Dean at the helm of their party and most also stand together on core issues like Iraq and tax cuts, two policies that Democrats also have trouble agreeing on.

While people may disagree with Republicans, they know where that party stands. Perhaps that is why they have been winning more often than the Democrats.

The fact that these two Democratic clubs decided they are too different to even attempt to work with each other, even for a cause that they obviously feel strongly about, shows that perhaps they are not mature enough to lead a political party - or a country, for that matter. How do they expect people to take them seriously when they act like children?

But again, this is all good for Republicans. If the Democrats want to remain weak and divided, I can only sit back and grin. Their demise is our gain.

You might wonder why I would point this out in a public forum if I enjoy their suffering so much. It is because I have enough faith that these people will continue to bicker over petty differences, even after reading this (if they do). Basically, I just wanted to share my happiness with everyone.

So keep on doing what you're doing, Democrats. Continue to weaken your fight for your principles and keep fighting with each other. You're doing all of us at the Grand Old Party proud."

This article was written by Thomas May for the Palomar Telescope; Monday, December 5.