Finding Providence

After reading Donald's recent blog entry I felt compelled to share some of my own thoughts, as well as express my gratitude to God. I've often looked back on my life, on the journey I've taken that has lead me to where I am now, and everytime I do I see one thing: Providence. I have no doubt that every place I have been on my journy, and every person I have met and created deep friendships with, has been according to God's greater purpose for my life. When I first moved to Escondido I wasn't too happy, having left behind everyone and everything I knew, yet I was rather calm and accepting at the same time. I have always had a very "go with the flow" attitude, and it has served me well. In fact, it's almost as though the idea of going wherever God leads me without questioning His plan for my life has always been written on my heart, before I even attended my first Sunday school class.

In any case, now that I have the luxury of looking back on my life and seeing a larger (though still limited) picture, I see beyond any doubt God's providence at work. As I have said before, I feel a strong ambition (or perhaps calling is a better word) to do something great in service of the Lord. Two of my now closest friends feel alomost identical callings, just in different areas of society. You can't convince me that this is mere coincidence.

Dordt, though I was only there for one year, introduced me to new ideas and new people who have also become close friends and who I would not have met otherwise. Even Palomar, despite it feeling like a waste of time, introduced me to new ideas and helped me to grow as a student and as a Christian.

Most recently, just when I was starting to think that no college was the right one for me, I had the opportunity to visit Biola. It was exactly what I needed. I have no doubt now that I'm supposed to go there. I'll be there next Fall (Lord willing) and I'm very excited at the prospects that brings. My personal faith has been growing recently, I've been reading my Bible nightly, as well as a number of other philosophical/theological books, and I even decided to start going to evening service every week all on my own! Heh. Now Biola will present me with countless opportunities to serve the Lord as I continue my studies, and I'm downright giddy.

I have so much more to learn, especially with regards to Reformed theology (and just theology in general). Some of that I will be able to do at Biola, some I won't. But I will continue to grow and shape my worldview secure in the knowlege that God does indeed have a plan for my life.

In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will
-Ephesians 1:11

The Frozen Chosen

There's a common misconception among the Christian community at large that Reformed theology somehow negates the possibiltiy of a Christian to be a good evangelist. We've all heard Calvinists ever so affectionately referred to as the "Frozen Chosen." In essence, there is an unspoken belief that Calvinists don't make very good Christians. According to a critic: "Nothing will foster pride and indifference as will an affection for Calvinism...The doctrines of Calvinism will deaden and kill anything: prayer, faith, zeal, holiness." But as Phillip Graham Ryken says, and I echo his words with even more volume and assurence, "If [you] are not a very good Christian, then [you] must not be a very good Calvinist either."

In truth, we've all had our run-ins with prideful, holier-than-thou reformers, made arrogant by some sense that they alone have been elected by God to know the Truth. Still, the notion that Calvinism deadens prayer, faith or even holiness is just plain silly. But what about zeal? Mr. Ryken goes on to say that, "...a true understanding of Reformed theology results in a vibrant Christian experiece that is full of spiritual vitality. Far from hindering warm personal piety, the doctrines of grace help cause it to flourish." These are easy words to say, but do all Calvinists walk this talk? I would regretably be forced to admit they don't, myself included. But there are a few things I feel obliged to point out.

Firstly, I submit that the definition of zeal does not involve the height to which one rasies his hands during singing or the number of times he has sung the chorus of the latest praise song. I say this with a bit of sarcasm, but the fact remains that the "vitality" of a church, and I dare say even one's own faith, is all too often measured by how lively their style of worship is. The argument I always get from those who advocate a praise band during Sunday morning worship is that the style of music shouldn't matter, as long as the meaning of the song is right and the heart of the worhiper is in the right place. Can this argument not go both ways? Can a "boring" hymn not be just as spiritualy vital as an upbeat praise song, if indeed it does depend on the heart of the worshiper and not on the style of music?

The other big criticism is that the doctrine of election kills any need to evangelize. After all, God's elect will come to Him, with or without our help. Why do we need to evangelize? Well that isn't the point, is it? God has told us to go and make diciples of all nations, and that is what we will do. You see, this notion of a "5-point Calvinism" fogs the truth and depth of Reformed theology, and I dislike the term. Calvinism is a systematic theology of the entire Bible, not simply a list of 5 points. Those 5 points were merely a response to the 5 major criticisms of Arminians. In fact, the doctine of sola scriptura may be the most imporant in all Reformed theology, yet it isn't one of the 5 points. Thus the doctrine of election does not take precedence in any way over the great commission, they work in conjunction with one another. As Charles Spurgeon (A Calvinist and one of the greatest evangelists of the late 19th century) argued, Calvinism is merely a nickname for true biblical theology.

My high school Bible teacher once said, "It doesn't matter how good your theology is, if your church isn't growing, it stinks!" Obviously that isn't true. Good theology is good theology, regardless of how rapidly a church is growing. However, if your church isn't growing, you should definately figure out why. Bottom line; you're a Calvinist, you have good theology (I dare say you hold the truth itself). Well, good for you. Now what are you going to do with it?

The Next Step

I wonder what it means to truly be a Christian in this world. Does it mean we read our Bibles everyday and attend church twice on Sunday, all the while doing nothing to ease the decay of the world around us into total depravity (pardon the pun)? Does it mean we do all we can to make diciples of all nations, often at the cost of sound Biblical truths? After all, what's the point of being a Christian that doesn't really have the truth of Christ? Is that really a Christian?

I sit in my chair, staring at this computer screen until my eyes hurt trying to make my blog something more pleasing to God, something in service of His Kingdom...or something like that. But all the while I'm left wondering what it is I'm really supposed to do in this world, and with my life. I have certain ambitions, but not the means to carry them out. And not ambitions in the sense that I want fame or power for myself, but ambitions for God. That in itself is a comforting thought, that I have them at all, but I have no clue what to do with them. How does one become an Apologician (or is it apologist, haha) in the sense that he makes it an actual vocation? Aside from a minister or teacher (which are options I haven't ruled out by any means), how does a man make a day job out of serving and defending the Kingdom?

I actually have more of a sense of hope about the future in my own heart, perhaps than this blog entry lets on, but it is when others constantly doubt my future that I become somewhat disheartened. I understand that making money is important and necessary in the world we live in, but it has only ever been in the back of my mind. I have no desire to be rich someday, only that I have enough to provide for a family. If I could make money writing on a blog I'd be set! Some have asked why I want to go to an expensive Christian college when I could get a cheaper education at a state school and be in far less debt after I graduate. The obvious answer is that I can't study subjects like philosophy and theology at a secular school. The less obvious answer (though it is more important for me) is that I feel called to go to a Christian school, to recieve an education in the things that really matter, and not just in the skills of a particular vocation. I can't say for certain that when I graduate I will get this job or that job, and my ambitions apart from a specific job are difficult to articulate to others. All I can say now is that I will go where I believe I am lead to go and pray that God will show me the next step of the journey once I get there.